We humans are meaning makers. We experience something then interpret, draw conclusions and make generalizations from that event. We anchor our reality with a structure of ideas – ideas about how we, how others are, how the world is. These belief structures tell us what’s possible, impossible, likely and unlikely.
Beliefs, are ideas that have a feeling of certainty about them. Ideas we assume to be true.
Many of the events we drew our core beliefs from happened when we were really young. Either a single emotionally charged event, or a series of repetivite happenings. And our meaning making was likely a reactive response connected to our survival needs, helping us to avoid pain and maintain connection with the parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, doctors, ministers or other authority figures we depended on. But this was a time when our understanding was really limited. A time when misinterpretations were commonplace.
Rarely do we make conscious choices about what we are going to believe in and yet the beliefs we hold, the ones were attached to, have a huge influence on the life we get to live and the self we get to experience.
Beliefs act as filters. We perceive through them. And our subconscious works to keep our world congruent with our beliefs. It functions to draw our attention toward events that support our beliefs and makes us deaf and blind to things that would contradict them. It helps us gather ‘evidence’, creating a file of experiences and events that ‘prove’ our beliefs are ‘true’. Good news if these are empowering beliefs. Not so great if they are of the limiting variety.
Although your beliefs would initially have served you – helped you to avoid the pitfalls of painful experiences and stay loyal to the ‘truths’ of those with the power to take care of you – times have changed. And it’s likely that many of the beliefs that once served, are now severely limiting.
Your beliefs influence what you see, how you feel, the choices you make and the actions you take. Change your beliefs and you can change what you experience, the resources you have access to, the decisions you make, the actions you take and the life you get to live.
So how do you go about breaking the chains of your limiting beliefs – dissolving the hold of their emotional charge and opening the door to your power and potential?
Whatever method you use, it starts with Identifying your limiting beliefs. The one or more that are standing in the way of what it is you want to achieve. Perhaps you already know what they are. If you don’t, you can use the exercise below.
Finish these sentences.
“I can’t … (what you want to achieve), because … “
“It’s not possible for me to …(what you want), because … “
What comes after because, is the limiting belief.
It could be anything.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not smart enough.
I always fail.
It’s not possible to make money in this ecomonic climate.
I can’t make enough money.
Nobody wants the service I offer.
It’s dangerous to be visible.
I will lose my friends if I succeed.
I have to choose between my work and family.
Whatever it is write it down.
Tapping is an easy, effective way to break the chains of your limiting belief by dissolving the emotional charge that’s keeping it locked in, as ‘true fact of life’.
If you are unfamiliar with tapping, you’ll find a description of the technique and tapping points in my free e-book down-loadable on this site.
Below is a really simple script guide you can use as you tap. Remember there is no magic in the words, they just function to help you connect into the associated emotions. Feelings are key when tapping. So don’t worry about having to use the ‘right’ words. Experiment, and as you say the words tune into whatever feelings come up.
TAPPING TO BREAK FREE OF LIMITING BELIEFS
- Score the belief on a scale of believability.
On a scale of 0 – 10, with 0 being not at all true and 10 being unquestionable fact, where does your limiting belief currently sit?
2. Set Up Statements
Tap on the Karate Chop point on the side of your hand, whilst saying the following set up statements.
” Even though … (insert your limiting belief) (eg I am not good enough), I choose to love and accept myself completely.
” Even though … ( insert limiting belief ), I accept myself exactly as I am.”
“Even though … (insert limiting belief), I choose to love and accept myself exactly as I am.”
Now move on to tapping around the meridian endpoints (5 -7) times on each point, whilst you repeat the reminder statements.
The simplest form of reminder phrase is your limiting belief.
You can use a single phrase to tap around all the points.
Eg ” I am not good enough.”
You may choose to mix in the feelings that surface as you tap, those that are associated with the belief.
eg ” I am not good enough / feeling hopeless / heaviness in my belly / I am not good enough / nausea in my throat / etc
And you could even mix in mini story pieces, that describe the ‘evidence events’, as you become aware of them.
Eg “I am not good enough / nausea in my throat / the look on her face, distain, contempt / and the thump as she banged that essay down on the table / the huge red F / my face hot, my stomach rising up into my throat / bitter in my mouth /so much shame / I’m not good enough?/ She said so/ and they all heard/ everyone knows / I’m not good enough/ etc”.
Tap for a few rounds, then say your limiting belief again and score it on the 1 – 10 scale. If it hasn’t got down to 1 or 0 yet, keep tapping. You want to get it to a point where the belief statement has no pull on your life. Where it is just an idea amongst thousands of possible ideas with no control over what you see, think, feel or do.
(Note – Sometimes your score will initially increase. This just means you are connecting more deeply into your emotions, which is a good thing in tapping. Keep doing more rounds, tapping on your reminder phrase, until the score drops to 0 or 1)
This simple tapping process is fine just as it is.
However if you want to vary it, you can try the alternatives below.
An alternative approach to tapping around the points.
You can use alternating rounds of tapping around the points.
Round 1. Use the ‘negative or problem’ phrase as the reminder phrase.
Eg the limiting belief and associated emotions or events.
Round 2. Use the ‘positive’ phrase. The end of the set up statement.
Eg ” I accept myself exactly as I am”
Round 3. Alternate 1 & 2 reminder phrases, ending the round with the positive.
You may find that as your belief score gets below 5, you naturally want to modify your limiting belief reminder phrase, to open it up to doubt, by adding in phrases such as –
” I wonder if it is possible? “
” What if it is possible ..?”
” Maybe I can …”
” I am open to the possibility that..”.
Go ahead, modify the phrases.
And perhaps you will end near 0 with affirmative reminder phrases.
How does this work for you?
What suprised you?
What questions did it bring up?